Well, family. You´ve caught me in a very pensive day. Usually, p day is a super big rush, and we´re just trying to cram tons of things in and whatever else. But today´s a little bit different. I don´t know why. It´s been really nice.
Can I share a little of what I´ve been thinking?
Well… I have a choice. I can Either be Grateful or Stressed.
Funny selection of choices, huh?
Let me explain. Being a missionary is an incredibly strong calling, with a lot of responsibility. I take this calling, and my responisibilities that have come along with it very seriously.
Remember my Anatomy class? With Dr. Schively at UVU? Same deal. Tons of responsibility, and I took it very seriously. Hardest thing I ever had to do. ( the Word anatomy is written inside of my scriptures, next to Ether 12 27) Hardest class, and a class that I really needed an A in. Well, I cried to the Lord almost every single night, because I was so overwhelmed and didn´t feel like I could soak in everything I needed to. The Lord ALWAYS fulfills his promise, especially with Ether 12 27. I have a testimony of that, because I left the class, miraculously, with an A. Now, I definately put in my part. A LARGE part, of studying till midnight at UVU almost every day. Even so, after all that I could give, it still wasn´t enough. I know that the Lord pulled me the rest of the way up that mountain of a class.
So where´s the moral? Yes, I got through it. And now that I´m done with it, I´m so grateful for the experience and the testimony that I gained. But let´s be honest. Was there anyone who really wanted to be around me for those 4 months of my life? Who wants to sit around and listen to someone whine about how pathetic they are for 4 months straight? My poor, poor friends. I apologize to you now, if you ever get a chance to read this. Haha, but really, think about it. The rest of my life, there will be hard things to do. There´s always going to be a new school subject, a new job, an new church calling, whatever.
So here is the choice. I can either be grateful or stressed. It´s my choice.
Chels wrote me something for Thanksgiving that I just got, and she told me to stop and enjoy the small things of Paraguay. It just really hit me. I´ve got BEAUTIFUL things happening around me. Lives are changing, I´m learning and changing, and I can choose to be grateful and happy for it if I want to. It fills me with hope, and excitement for missionary work just writing about it.
I´m glad I´m realizing all of this. Most of it was thought of this morning in the Shower. (best place to ponder life). Some of it I´m just realizing as I type. Haha, I think I´m going to print this out and go think about it some more tonight! I tried it out today, just trying to look for the blessings. And today´s been awesome. I´m so blessed here. We had a great district activity this morning. We passed some really relaxing time reading the scriptures, playing pool, and eating lunch.
I was just really worked up over all of the numbers, and plans, and projects that I wanted to be improving on this week. I was feeling really inadequate. And I think I was really wearing out my comp. ;_).
It´s just been a really neat learning day for me. Thanks for letting me share it with you.
It´s funny that Life´s moving on without me, whether I´m there or not. I guess all missionaries have to learn that lesson. What a bummer.
Love you all!!!
Elder Stewart
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